What you do with your bike in the privacy of your own room...

Is not OK in Scotland.

In an inventive new entry to the field of unusual crimes, a Scottish man has been charged with having simulated sex with a bicycle.

Robert Stewart, from Ayr, allegedly was naked from the waist down in a hostel room when two cleaners walked in. They say they were shocked to find him mock-copulating with a bicycle – and that he continued to do so as they looked on, the Sunday Mail reports.

He has been charged with conducting himself in a disorderly manner. His solicitor, Gerry Tierney, said: 'My client denies the allegations and intends to defend the charge vigorously.'

Stewarts says that the incident was all a misunderstanding, partly due to the fact that he'd had too much to drink.

When asked about the alleged bicycle-sexing, the Sunday mail reports that Stewart replied: 'You'll need to ask the cleaners why they would say that. It's a lot of rubbish, a lot of rubbish.'

There are a few trails that we love so much, that we're pretty sure the look on our face... well, you get the point.

They're going to have to get this silly law off the books before the Single Speed World Championships in a month.