Shave Your Legs For God!

Yesterday, we gave the Devil his due, so today it's the Man in White -- the Big Guy Upstairs. The Chief Operating Officer. The Silent But Deadly One. Gawd.



Well, not so much God as his Book. Seems this hail and hearty preacher from California is riding his bike coast-to-coast (yes, rev up your wallets for the new season of charitable cross-country spins -- this year they'll be like a plague of locusts, mark my words) to raise awareness and funds for the International Bible Society. The IBS was founded in 1809 and makes a special mission out of providing bibles in as many languages as possible. (Sure, they have a Klingon bible. But do they have a TOMMY GUN bible? Very few people speak TOMMY GUN, and they are all godless, so far as I can tell).

Thing is, I'm thinking Rev. Randy Gardner will likely be staying in hotels and motels along the way, and if he just takes the time to check his desk drawer or his night stand, there among the complimentary stationary and pens, he might notice that the Gideons -- a younger and more aggressive organization with roughly the same mission -- has already been there doing that thing.


I'm no blasphemer, but I had come to rather the opposite conclusion of Rev. Gardner: that there were actually a few too many Bibles already in circulation, and that when you've got too much of anything in circulation, its value goes down. Rather like the U.S. dollar.

But make no mistake. The Bible truly is a ripping good read.