Taking a hacksaw to the new carbon frame, under the watchful eye of the US Army

Measure twice, cut once. Or, y'know, measure once and cut twice @ about $4000 per cut.

Dude should cut those chops next. To each his own, I guess. Cute dog, though.

Never did like that integrated seatpost. What the heck do you do when fashion dictates a higher set-up, once today's fashionable "power" setup is debunked like cholesterol in butter?

The Wal-Mart Bike Shop, part 2

A few months ago we asked what the Wal-Mart of bike shops would be. Turns out, the answer really may be Wal-Mart.

Flying in the face of our longstanding complaint about Dynacrap bikes and the department stores that sell them, Wal-Mart recently announced that they're rolling out their own line of carbon bikes equipped with Ultegra.

Now, in at least one store in Texas, they are installing a whole bike shop with real live bike mechanics. Personally, I doubt whether the stronger mom & pop stores will suffer much, but you can bet larger regional chains like Erik's in the Midwest, or Performance in the Southeast, are going to feel some heat, as the exodus begins of suburban weekend warriors that do all their thinking with their wallets.

How many bikes do YOU own now, friend?

Interesting article in today's Wall Street Journal about the growing popularity of custom bikes: Even though the number of bike riders in the US declined almost 10 percent in the past 5 years to 35.6 million, bike manufacturers actually increased bike sales... 16 percent more bikes have sold in the same period, and the average price has gone up 26 percent. How'd the bike biz manage that trick? By selling fancy bikes to people who already own a bike or two. In other words, the cycling masses are thinning a little, but getting more acquisitive.

And where do the fixie hipsters fit into the picture? Since they are mostly rebuilding old Peugeots and Schwinns, they're not really adding anything to the economy (though sales of U-Locks, mess bags, and Drum tobacco are surely up). And since they insist on riding without brakes or helmets, they're not really adding to the ranks of cyclists either. You might call them a net zero to bikes and bike culcha.

In the coming year, watch for the big manufacturers to start muscling in on local indie bike builders by offering custom builds and paint jobs. Specialized has spearheaded this with their Langster city series, but Giant is doing it too -- and no one is bigger than Giant.

Will the real Wal-Mart of bike shops step forward and offer a branded carbon roadbike?

I have mixed feelings about REI and its Novarra branded bikes. Over the years, I've had plenty of good gear, and plenty of crap from them. For whatever reason, I've always had a jaundiced eye for the bike department. I equated Novarra with Nashbar-branded equipment, or Performance-branded equipment -- likely just some middle-of-the-pack Taiwanese frame from Giant, repainted and loaded up with mix and match componentry, and painfully obvious shortcuts like bad wheelsets and brick-like seats.

True, the best bike technologies eventually trickle down the price sheet. And now that Wal-Mart sells a "high end" carbon roadbike for $2K, it was only a matter of time before REI did the same.

Well, see for yourself. (Also, we'd like your opinion as to whether this soundtrack sucks as badly as the one for last week's Ugliest Clown Bike Ever Built.)

Extra credit for industry geeks who couldn't make it to Interbike this year: Consensus at the bike shop is that Kent International is the likely supplier of all this cheap carbon.

How history gets buried

The closure of a bike shop is a sad thing -- especially one that's been open since 1921. Faber's, in San Jose, is well known as a harbor for all kinds of valuable ephemera..

Faber's is an homage - a hymn - to bicycle history: On the floor are forks, wheels, tires, chains and frames from every era. In the barn in back are valuable oldsters like the 1934 Rover, or the 1937 Cadillac (yes, bicycles shared names with cars). On the outside, a half-dozen kids' Schwinn bikes hang downward as advertising.

Still, according to this reporter's somewhat premature obituary, "Faber's has defied the thinking that says a shiny new $2,500 carbon-frame bike is a mandatory starting point for anyone serious about two wheels."

Who thinks that? That certainly is wrongheaded thinking. Neither is the mandatory starting point a $300 piece of Dynacrap. We put that price right around $900... which, incidentally, might egven get you that original wooden Velocipede frame out in the garage (no kidding!)

Why you should never piss off your bike mechanic. (Or: "Is that smell coming from ME?!")

Overheard at the shop:

So, this out-of-town dude comes into the shop. It's totally busy, fifteen people standing around waiting for service. He pushes his way into the shop and says, "I'm on a cross-country trip and I need my wheel rebuilt, right now!"

I say, "I'm sorry sir, if you could get in line and wait your turn, there are about a dozen people here ahead of you. We'll help you as soon as we can."

And he says, "I don't think you understand. Cross-country bike trip."

I'm thinking I don't care if you're the fucking President of the United States who needs his tires pumped, you gotta wait. But I said, "I understand. But you'll have to wait your turn."

He screams, "CROSS COUNTRY BIKE TRIP!" and throws down his bike.

So I said, "OK, we'll get right on it. You go across the street, have a cup of coffee, we'll get you fixed up in 30 minutes. Straight to the head of the line. Cross-country bike trip!"

He leaves. I wait a few moments and follow across the street, only I go into the deli next door. I hold out my hands and say, "Give me a pound of egg salad."

They look at me like I'm nuts. "Go ahead. Pound of egg salad." So they spoon a bunch into my hands. I run back across the street, take the guy's seat out, and squeeze a bunch of egg salad into the seat-tube, put the seat back in, get it all cleaned up, and true the guy's wheel.

He's back in 30 minutes, pays up, and heads out the door. Not even a "Thank you."

I wonder what he smelled like when he got to Arizona.

The best trend we've seen in a long while

Seen in the newspapers at lunch...

This is pretty nifty, and something we hope blooms like a thousand daffodils around the country... community bike outreach. On a recent visit to our local branch, we were almost knocked off our bike by the wave of good karma... and the swarms of happy kids.

Now that's a church to which we could belong.

$20K for a bicycle: Has the world gone completely mad?

Seen in today's papers, this USA Today article about insanely overpriced bikes and parts. We'd normally take a pass on the usual "aren't cyclists a crazy bunch of overpaid yuppies?" tack of such fishwrap. But, well... aren't cyclists a bunch of overpaid yuppies?

The so-called Lance effect got people onto bikes that you could describe as mainstream," says owner Chad Nordwall, whose customers include weekend warriors, talented amateurs and even area celebrity and bike fanatic Robin Williams. "But now people are saying, 'I want something unique, something no one else has.'

...

"When I first started, I rode around on a $100 bike and loved it, but slowly I got addicted to the technology of it all, and that was it," says Robert Vasquez, a radiologist in San Antonio who recently had KGS spec out a Parlee to the tune of $22,180.96."

Thank god this innocent reporter finally talks to Steve Madden, editor of Bicycling magazine, who makes everything right with the world again.

There is no way a $12,000 bike is six times better than a nice $2,000 bike," says Steve Madden, editor of Bicycling magazine, which nonetheless named Parlee its Editor's Choice cycle for 2007.

"Having said that, what you're buying is an emotional attachment to something that means a lot to you," Madden says.

Let's just say this right now: Parlee custom-built carbon TT frames mean significantly less than $20,000 to us. More in the range of, say, zero dollars.

Is that snobbish of us?

Five minutes that feels like five hours

This is how a professional puts together a new bike.

Of course, if it were a Trek Madone — those are merely hatched out of a pod in Lance's basement.

Attention all customers!

One of the reasons we try not to be too self-righteous around here is that we're chronic backsliders ourselves. Among the many minor transgressions is shopping for bike parts by catalog. Say what you will about finding the best price for the best parts, it's a zero-sum moral argument. You either support your local bike shop or you don't. The fact is, we think it's all-in-all a more companionable thing to hang at the local shop, learn some names, trade stories, pay full retail. With enough investment of time and cheap lager, you may eventually luck out and begin getting the "buddy" deal. (Do not ever request the buddy deal; that is bad form).

Anyway, we bring this up, because earlier this week Performance Bike was sold for untold tens of millions of dollars to a private equity firm. The little bike catalog company in North Carolina has grown to include more than 70 retails stores in 14 states, with revenues upward of $100 million per year.

We offer no judgement per se. We just want you to know where your money goes, when it doesn't go to that grungy but charming little LBS.