Intl' Wheelies #31: The triumphant return of a dubious regular PFN feature

This little Finnish dude can sure ride one wheel beautifully. It's enough to make you wonder: Ever thought of taking up the unicycle, little dude?

Also this: You are perpetuating a terrible stereotype by using such crappy metal for your soundtrack, little dude. Just saying.

An unsolicited tip: Try the Hellacopters, or the Hellbillies. Heck, Maria Kalaniemi would work, if you want something a little closer to home and nearer to the ground. Something to blend a little better with the local architecture.

Intl' Wheelies #30: More unicycle-with-a-spare-tire hijinks

Last time we checked in with our friends in Japan, they'd progressed beyond vintage Nike waffle trainers, and Italian track bikes and they were actually doing some riding. They'd taken up "drifting."

Now it looks like the bleeding edge of obssessive weirdness has moved ahead. What are the kids doing on that funny far Eastern island? They're having manny slalom competitions.

International Wheelies #29: The 2,000 mile wheelie

It's been a good long while since we posted an entry in the International Wheelies
canon. And when the judges saw this, they hung up their robes and quit in disgust.

Dude rode a single wheelie from Hollywood, CA to Orlando, FL... more than 2000 miles on a banana seat with ape-hangers!

Find more videos like this on www.truveo.com.

Oddly enough, this begins to look like a unicycle with a spare wheel.

International Wheelies #14: What's the Arabic phrase for "spinning shitties in the parking lot"?

Halfway through this, we had a sinking feeling we were about to see some reprehensible, racist joke. And it may have been intended that way -- but it's actually pretty nifty, if you're a cyclist rather than a bigot.

Open question: What on earth did Iraqi dude put on his rear wheel to be able to drift like this?

Powdercoated deep-V rims? Pfft. How about hand-hewn wheels and handlebars?

One of Tom Ritchey's neat little side projects: The Rwanda Wooden Bike classic. In Rwanda, the weak supply stream for bicycles has led locals to build bikes -- scooters, really -- out of wood, and these cool rides are used for fun, for work, for commuting, basically for everything.

Ritchey and a friend have helped organize a race series in Rwanda that includes a Wooden Bike marathon, a singlespeed work-bike race, a professional road race, and a modern mountain bike race.

We've been clowning about a recent rash of wooden frames (silly bamboo bikes and concept tandems) but these are the real deal: hand-hewn from raw timber.

If there is any justice in the world, the hippest fixie-riders in New York and San Francisco will start showing up at the Saturday Night Ride on one of these sweet steeds.

Even worse than the T-mobile kit

Dig the German bike Polizei and their weird green duds. Also, note that the Germans are so morally lax as to allow their police not only to swear in public --Scheisse!-- but to televise such laxity on the evening news.

All we can say is Fahrt zeugen!

International Wheelies #12: Biciclette Band

Because it's been such a sleepy day so far, we figured the best way to give you your money's worth today would be.. a PARADE!

Here's an exceptionally entertaining video of a Spanish marching band-- on bicycles! And they really rip! Watch those drummers track stand! WAKE UP!!!!

Also, keep watching for the afterparty, cuz there's nudity and leprechauns, not unlike last week's All-City Championship in Minneapolis.

International Wheelies #21: When you've tried everything else, turn the camera on its side!

Not clear why these gents, apparently Jewish Finns, are wearing their hockey gear to jump their bike into the drink, but whatevs.

Without knowing the details, we're guessing strong drink had something to do with this.

The "culturally appropriate" bike?

We were razzing folks from World Bicycle Relief recently about their plans to provide "culturally appropriate" bikes to health workers in Zambia. Turns out what they mean by that is bikes that are equipped with tires that have rubber sidewalls-- traditional cloth sidewalls that are normally found in Africa are worthless on their non-existent roads.

But now the lost-in-time leaders of Iran have developed a bike for Islamic women. Up until now, Iranian women were not allowed to ride bicycles because, well, because it could lead to crazy fun sex. (Let's just speak frankly, shall we?)

So what does a "culturally appropriate" bike for oppressed Islamic women look like?

Your wish is our command. We're all about instant gratification here in the satanic West...

Kidding, but not a lot. (Being Islamic and all, there are no pictures allowed.) Still, lest we miss the whole point here, whatever the bike looks like, it's a wheel in the right direction. As Susan B. Anthony, "The bicycle has done more for the emancipation of women than anything else in the world."

Do you know how to "drift" your bike?

It seems that the international term for skidding is drifting. We had no idea, but we've been doing it for years. And now that Swobo has made the coaster brake cool again, the alley out back has started looking like Dave Navarro's left arm.

It also seems that this Japanese fellow is pretty darn good at it. Note the finer points of the skillset--like aiming for pedestrians as if they are gates on a slalom course.

International Wheelies #7: Polish sausagefest!

We'd never heard of this Polish fellow, Swiety, before. He's a bit more street than Taj. Obviously, being a professional disqualifies him from the normal judging.

Still, judges say, "We wouldn't want to be in the same room with this guy and a spikey board. Hell, we're not sure we want to be in the same world with him. But he sure can spin his bars and ride backward, like a savant."

International Wheelies #6: Malaysian Mile!

OK, so you're not gonna wanna watch this all the way through. Kid rides a wheelie for FIVE MINUTES on a long stretch of Malaysian highway.

Judges say: "No denying the skills here, although he loses a point for no turns; he gains it back for longevity. Not especially beautiful. Terrible video quality. Probably the best soundtrack so far, which isn't saying much."




Score--

Truth 10
Beauty 4
Soundtrack 5

Total 6.3

International Wheelies #5: Uff dah, it's a new record!

The judges say: "This Norwegian bloke has really put it all together. Though we're no fans of excessive bike ballet, you gotta respect the rudimentary editing skills, the dubious choice of music, and the bare-chested machismo on display here. Pretty sweet tricks too. Dude, get a wind baffle for your mic."



Score

Truth: 10
Beauty: 7
Soundtrack: 4

Total: 7

International Wheelies #4: One for the Home Team

Finally, a worthy entry from Team Amerika in the ongoing phenom and worldwide juggernaut that is INTERNATIONAL WHEELIES.

The judges say: "One nice long ride here, punctuated by a lot of hopping around and misfires, as well as a fallback. You get the impression that his best wheelie was a fluke. Soundtrack sucked, except for the last 'buh-bye' from the cameraman."



Score

Truth: 5
Beauty: 5
Soundtrack: 2

TOTAL: 4

International Wheelies #3: Back to Brazil

You love them, you hate them, you want more of them: Kids just riding along!

The judges say: "OK, so this dude rides his wheelie with no front wheel -- that gets us into danger pay, and that's cool. But it's ugly, so he actually loses a beauty point, canceling the danger pay.

Soundtrack-wise, he gets a point for having the mic on. But no music."



Truth: 10
Beauty: 4
Soundtrack: 1
Total: 5

International Wheelies #2: Marakesh Express!

We're back with another episode of International Wheelies, documenting the fascinating phenomenon of kids just riding along, all over the world.



Score:

Truth: 10
Beauty: 5
Soundtrack: 0

TOTAL: 5 points

International Wheelies: My Pal Manny

There's something about watching some crappy soundless home video of Brazilian kids riding wheelies that puts a smile on our face for the Friday commute home.

They could be doing drugs and pimping their sisters instead. (Course they might be doing that, too.)



SCORE:

8 truth
7 beauty
0 soundtrack

TOTAL: 5 points